This has happened to me with more than one lover, where she would want to cover up her body or be naked only in the dark. They seemed surprised that I really wanted to see them in their full glory, including a round belly or stretch marks or a flat chest or a C-section scar or whatever.
My honest words in those situations: “I want to see all of you … I want to touch all of you … You look beautiful.”
For me, this seems natural: it’s your lover, and you ought to adore them. But in each of those moments of self-consciousness I learned something, I hope, about the psychological scars we carry from a lifetime of internalizing others’ judgments to the point that we judge ourselves most harshly of all. And women get it the *worst*, especially when it comes to body image, because of deeply fucked-up standards in our society.
Touch your lover. Inhale her. Help her to be more comfortable in her skin. Give her so much adoration that she can’t help but unwind some of the tensions and fears she’s been carrying inside for ages. Whether you’re with her one time or ten thousand, make damn sure that she knows what it is to be worshiped.
Except you can’t forget about how society treats men also you can’t forget that everyone expects a man to be some strong muscular man who is supposed to only want the “perfect girl” when in all reality the man isn’t muscular and the girl isn’t perfect but no matter what they are not bad nor ugly or imperfect in anyway,this is how society makes people feel though, as if we are not enough and we are the ones who are wrong because we are not perfect but no one person is perfect but that is okay we all have our own flaws but that’s just called life male, female, or other, this is no longer a world who accepts everyone for anything which is why we need to stand for eachother and take every opportunity you can to brighten someones day
Sorry for such a long post
Okay, I totally get what you’re saying and I also understand why it needs to be addressed… but make your own post about it. Reblog this one in support of the fact that women need to hear this. Make a different post about the fact that men also have struggles.
It’s fine to make a post just about the struggles one group goes through. No one is invalidating someone else’s struggles by talking about their own.
venus-untamed